The best revenge is to not be like your enemy [Arsenal]
Marcus Aurelius
After a long summer full of watching the Euros, Copa America, the Olympics, and even MLS, my first football love is back in action. The Premier League kicks off this weekend and on Monday Tottenham Hotspur face off against newly promoted Leicester City and their mega superstar Harry Winks. (I promised myself I wouldn’t cry.)
This time of year is always filled with unbridled passion and expectations only to come crashing down sometime later. It’s like when I decide to go on a run and feel great for the first 30 seconds. I’m a runner, I’m going to get into shape, I’m going to be the type of person who runs a half-marathon. The endorphins start flowing. Then I realize how terrible running is and within a minute I’m thinking about jumping in front of a car. That’s the life of a Spurs supporter.
But this year is different. This year we have everything figured out and that stupid bald man is going to actually bring in some great transfers. We will, without a doubt, not have that typical post-Christmas descent into seventh place after losing to Bournemouth.
But if the worst case scenario does happen, though, I have prepared a few lessons from the Stoic philosophers to help guide through this football season. These lessons will help us become better people and convince our wives to cancel the pending divorce.
Lesson 1: Christian Romero isn’t the problem, your reactions are
“You have power over your mind — not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” Marcus Aurelius
Christian Romero might be one of the top defenders in the world right now, but you just know that at any moment he’s going to kick a guy in the head or shove someone to the ground and taunt them. He’s going to get a red card and put the team in a bad position. It’s just as inevitable as him making a beautiful defensive stop or heading in a corner.
But Christian Romero exists outside of you. His actions are his alone and he cannot control you. I am a middle aged man in the Missouri Ozarks, it is not possible for him to do anything to cause me to behave in a certain way.
He is responsible for himself and I am responsible for my actions. When he does something reckless, or when Richy misses a wide open shot, I have within me the ability to choose how to react. I can be upset and move on, simply accepting the disappointment. This is within my power to do.
Lesson 2: Disappointment builds character
“I judge you unfortunate because you have never lived through misfortune. You have passed through life without an opponent—no one can ever know what you are capable of, not even you.” Seneca
Think about the sad state of a Man City fan’s soul. They seldom have to face adversity (unless against Real Madrid) and as a result have become soft and weak. They will fall apart at this slightest misfortune and when ultimately they are stripped of everything because they’ve been cheating for a decade, they will fall apart.
But it’s not so with us. We know we are capable of enduring suffering and disappointment. How much sweeter will it be when something good happens? It has to happen eventually, right?
Lesson 3: Don’t worry about what other people are saying about us
“If anyone tells you that a certain person speaks ill of you, do not make excuses about what is said of you but answer, ‘He was ignorant of my other faults, else he would have not mentioned these alone.’” Epictetus
Don’t be offended when people say something is “Spursy” or claim that Mr. Levy is the major thing holding us back. These things are probably true and you won’t grow as a person if you are constantly on the defensive.
Accept it, live it, revel in it. These other fans only wish their clubs were famous enough to have trademarked losing in the worst possible way. This is our identity, we need to embrace it.
Or, as Epictetus put it: “He who laughs at himself never runs out of things to laugh at.”
Lesson 4: Change won’t come overnight
“Well-being is realized by small steps, but is truly no small thing.” – Zeno of Citium
Last season it was silly to think Tottenham would win silver. Change doesn’t come overnight, but rather in small steps. It’s probably wrong headed to think we’ll make a deep run in the Europa League or that we will compete for the Premier League title. Things have changed but they haven’t changed that much.
A house is built by laying a strong foundation and building up from there. Would you choose to live in a house put up overnight with no foundation? Would that stand up against a strong wind? Things must take their proper time and we must be completely honest about where we stand. Only then will our expectations meet the club’s results.
I write all of this on Sunday evening, before Tottenham’s first league match. I’m properly optimistic right now, but even if things fall completely off the rails, I know that a football club cannot control my reactions. Will I be disappointed at some point this season? Surely. Will I be angry at Big Ange? Without a doubt. Will I let that rule me? Absolutely not.